Busy Easter Bunny....

I'm a busy girl today. Not only am I counting all my blessings during this special time, but I'm cooking a turkey, WRITING, getting outside on this sunny day to practice archery, 'helping' the Easter Bunny (my own little Easter Bunnies still asleep in their beds will never be too old for the Easter Bunny to visit), and most importantly....spending time with family and friends. True I won't be with my family in Vancouver (an expensive ferry ride away), but they are with me all the time in mind and spirit. The world of the internet makes maintaining relationships staying connected a little easier, and although nothing can replace being together in person, at least we make the most of what we DO have - each other - and stay connected all the time.

As I write this I'm about to get the turkey in the oven (I had to thaw it in the bathroom so the cat wouldn't get at it), then after a quick shower and spackling-on of make-up, I'll sit down and read for a bit. I made all my veggies yesterday and I actually cut-down on the amount I do, making more of one thing instead of 5 different things so I could have time for family and friends - and time to just BE. I've been in in a constant state of whirlwind go-go-go lately, and I'm trying - and this is not the first time - to slow down. Every time I put myself in check and nearly crumble under an avalanche overwhelm-ness, I remember I have to slow down. I'm getting better at it - I am - but it takes work. Another Easter is here - weren't we JUST celebrating Easter 2016? - and a lot has happened in my life in that year. A lot. But one constant is to slow down...and always count your Easter Eggs. Too much can get in the way of stopping to smell the roses - or in this case, to count your Easter Eggs. I take on too much, do too much, and although I could never say 'no' to too many chocolates, I know moderation is key - and with everything.

Easter is a time of reflection, remembrance, new beginnings, and renewed hope for the future. It's a time to stop and be with family, something I work year-round to do as best as I can, and a time to just enjoy what we have. I have the freedom and means to write what I want, when I want, and believe what I want, and how I want. I can take this time, yet again, to set and start anew, and know the future is bright no matter what tries to get in my way. I take time to read quietly from the abundance of books I have, and later sit back and watch my house full of men banter and bicker over turkey dinner. Yup - life is good.

I hope you have a lovely Easter and take time to hug your family, celebrate all you have, and just as equally important - to count your Easter Eggs - you have more than you realize.

A Make-Over = Fresh Start

A Make-over = Fresh Start....

But first a bit of rambling that needs to get out...

I've been in a bit of a rut lately - I think the not-so-notable weather, a month of bad health, and just generally being overwhelmed and burned out got to me. Something had to give, I had to take a step back from a few things, and I needed time to think, reflect, recharge and reset. My writing took a hit, along with a few other things, but I'm slowly getting back on track. I thrive on routine and routine WILL only foster productivity and regular output, but that will come. I have to not be so hard on myself.

But that writing itch has been building, getting more and more itchy - so much it needs a really good scratch. But I'm holding out. I'm not giving into that scratch just yet. Where the writing spark had evaded me before, now I'M taking charge and not letting it have it's way just yet. Not letting myself scratch just yet. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, and I think by holding off on finally giving in to a good scratch (I HAVE been writing little bits here and there, just not my usual full-steam-ahead-writing) I'm letting the momentum build and letting my desperate writing spark know who's in charge.

I'm in charge of my writing - only me. I say how often, how much and what. No one else. I'm responsible for what I do - and what I don't do. In my last author interview with Jodie Esch, she mentioned she had burned out. She said 'After living in the teen head for my four YA books, I was burnt out. I needed a change of pace.' That resonated with me. I realize I HAD burned out on various things. I had to step away and ignore, and the moment you ignore something, it wants you back. Well I'm coming back, but on MY terms. I got caught up in the 'rules' of writing - meaning a 'true writer' is only a 'true writer' if they are doing X,Y,Z. Nope - not having that anymore. It's not a lame excuse to EXCUSE for not writing, I'm just not going to keep myself within the confines of what constitutes a 'real writer' anymore.

I had been questioning what a real writer IS and IS NOT, and part of my problem of getting myself into a rut was that I was overthinking everything. This the norm for me. I overthink everything and don't just let things BE and come naturally. So I acknowledged I was burned out and ACCEPTED IT. I acknowledged that I was overthinking it all and LET THINGS GO. I saw I was overwhelmed and took a STEP BACK. I knew I was stale and needed a fresh start and CHANGED. And most importantly, I GAVE MYSELF A BREAK - because no one's gonna give yourself a break except you.

So as I inch closer to something new - something that is right for me - and tease that writing spark with just a tiny scratch, I know I'm back. Everything WILL be okay. I AM a writer - no one has the right to tell me what I AM or AM NOT.

First step is a make-over. A fresh start - a clean slate - and a new look. And I'll sit back and see how that feels...and then carry on at my own pace. In my own time.

And goshdarnit, lookee here! I DID write something after all!